Here are some jokes I receive through email.

TERRORRISTS

2 terrorists are planning to blow up a building. They take 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off.
One asks the other, ‘What happens if the bombs blast off now?’
The other says, ‘Don’t worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat.’

DAD’S SO SMART

Below could be any answer to what your kid may ask you the next time:

Son (S) : Why is making love so enjoyable?
Dad (D) : It is just like the sensation when you are digging your nose with your finger !!

S : Why do women enjoy it more than men?
D : It is because when you dig your nose, your nose feels more comfort than your finger.

S : Why do women hate it when they get rape?
D : It is like when you are walking on the street and someone else comes over and digs your nose, would you like it??

S : Why women cannot have sex when they are having menses?
D : If your nose is bleeding, do you still dig it??

S : Why men do not like to wear condoms when they are making love?
D : Do you like to dig your nose with a glove on your finger?

S : Woaaa . . Dad you are good.

NO DIFFERENCE

When the gynecologist confirmed her suspicion that she was pregnant, Celeste got a little scared. “It’ll be my first baby,” she confessed with a blush, “and actually I don’t know the first thing about how babies are delivered.”

“Don’t worry about a thing,” reassured the doctor. “It’s really not all that different from how the baby got started in the first place.”

Startled, Celeste exclaimed, “You mean twice around the park with my legs hanging out of the cab?”

READ THE SIGNS:

On an Electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”

Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: “Best place in town to take a leak.”

In a Non-smoking area: “If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

On Maternity Room door: “Push, Push, Push.”

At an Optometrist’s Office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

At a Car Dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop: “No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming.”

Outside a Hotel: “Help! We need inn-experienced people.”

At an Auto Body Shop: “May we have the next dents?”

In a Dry Cleaner’s Emporium: “Drop your pants here.”

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

On a Music Teacher’s door: “Out Chopin.”

At the Electric Company: “We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be.”

On the side of a Garbage Truck: “We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.”

On the door of a Computer Store: “Out for a quick byte.”

In a Restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.”

Inside a Bowling Alley: “Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: “Drive carefully, we’ll wait.

LOST MY WIFE

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”

“Why?” she asks.

“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”